The Lightweight’s Guide to Ordering Bar Drinks

From my March 14th post, migrated from Tumblr. DISCLAIMER: As always, allow a couple hours to pass before driving, or flag a friend or cab if you’re drinking, and err on the side of caution. Putting others, yourself, your job, and driving record at risk is simply not worth it!

St. Patrick’s Day is this Saturday, and there will be much imbibing and/or pinching! I’ll be hosting a BBQ at home, but here’s a post for all you barflies.

Gin and Tonic photo by SpecsMachine. Used with permission.

The other day, I got asked:
What can I order at a bar or party when I don’t want to get drunk?

Since I’m orally fixated and feel naked without a drink in hand, here is what I order:

  • One shot of vodka or gin
  • A large glass of tonic with lemon or lime and ice

I do the shot, or dump it (or half of it) into the glass of tonic after taking a few sips.
It’s sometimes cheaper and, because I’m measuring out my own liquor, I don’t risk the well-meaning but sometimes-too-heavy hand of my favorite bartender. The plain tonic glass is larger than the ones used for mixed drinks, so I have something boozy to sip on (and stay hydrated with) for a long time.

If you’re not that orally fixated and have a decent tolerance, order a glass of wine or straight or rocks whiskey. With a sippin’ drink, you’re more likely to notice if you’re getting tipsy. Follow with water.

If you’re on the wagon, order a cranberry and club soda with lime or a cola. It looks like you’re drinking, and it’s tasty.

Added note: My lovely gal pal Sophie of Pits ‘n’ Weiners in Las Vegas read this post and said:

“I just read your lightweight drinkers suggestions – this, called a Shandy, is what I used to drink when I lived in the UK to keep up with my heavy drinking friends… beer mixed with citrus soda or cider. I used the 1:1 beer and 7-up version! Totally looks like full strength beer, but tastes sweeter. Very thirst-quenching on hot days too!”

Happy celebrating!




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