Hostaholic’s Anonymous

Hi, I’m Beretta, and I’m a Hostaholic.

This month, I had a crash-course reminder about the importance, as a host, wife, and homemaker, of not over-scheduling our social life.

For 3 weeks solid, in addition to our day jobs, Husband and I either had a looming deadline or social obligation. We went from throwing a huge birthday bash to hosting family… celebrating our anniversary followed by an evening with fun sleepover guests.  Barbecues, Vintage Ladies’ groups, photo shoots… and also errands, household projects, and a visit from our landlady  to install central air.

Don’t get me wrong…all of this has been a great time. (Even the landlady’s visit.) All of this we scheduled and agreed to as a household. All of it was a knock-down, drag-out Funderland. Last weekend, after a night of whooping it up with bourbon and bitters, I was dancing around our kitchen at 7am Sunday morning making breakfast for Husband and tea sandwiches for my Vintage Ladies’ Group: Over-scheduling? I don’t know what that means!

Except for now, with the kitchen sink piled with dishes, the laundry room overflowing baskets of (clean but unfolded and homeless) clothes and bedding, and the den decorated with three different party themes, I feel… a little overwhelmed. And like I haven’t seen my husband in a week. And like a stranger in my own suddenly vacant, slightly trashed house. And kind of like my brain fell out.

(And how could I have gone grocery shopping 4 times in the past week but have nothing in the fridge but an onion, coffee cake, and party beverages?)

Today, I want to lay low, and not talk to anyone…ever again. Just the thought of thinking about parties makes me … woozy. When I think about throwing a party (or editing my book about throwing parties), I want to barf.  I hate feeling this way.  So, in my moment of Hostaholic’s Clarity, I am determined to stop being a Hostaholic, and avoid the Hostaholic’s party hangover.

The next time I can bear to look at my calendar, I’m going to follow these recovery steps:

  • I will make sure deadlines and appointments already scheduled leave least 3-4 days a week free, or reschedule if needed.
  • I will block out this week entirely,  so we can recuperate.
  • For at least a month, I will only commit us to social excursions where we are guests.
  • I will make a meal plan to get us back on a healthy, non-partying household diet.
  • I will spend at least 20 minutes a day doing something to relax, regardless of schedule.
  • In the future, I will only commit to hosting one day per week, and one large-scale event per 30 days.
  • I will be more open to hosting at restaurants or bars, to avoid having to cook for 40 humans at every party.

For now, though, I’m going to bed.


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